A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.

The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. "No!" she said rather sternly.

"Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she said again...........................

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A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." ...................................

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A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was
approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.The doctor
mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you
handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social
function?""Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.On the next
morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a
$50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.

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Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench.

"Your Honor," said Bob, "I objected because my distinguished colleague Bill was badgering the witness. It is obvious he has never heard of the Bill of Rights."

"Rubbish!" snapped Bill. "I happen to know them by heart."

Bob rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Do you now? Well, Bill, I have a hundred dollars that says you can't even tell me the first few words." .............................

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After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Although the insurance company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.

When he was wheeled into the insurance company office to collect his check, Miller was confronted by several executives.................

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An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty
of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is.

"These, senor," replied the waiter in broken English, "are the arms of the
bull killed in the ring today." ....................

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An Illinois man who left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in
Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the
next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.


Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail
address, he did his best to type it in from memory. .....................

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