A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was
approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.The doctor
mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you
handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social
function?""Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.On the next
morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a
$50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.

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Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench.

"Your Honor," said Bob, "I objected because my distinguished colleague Bill was badgering the witness. It is obvious he has never heard of the Bill of Rights."

"Rubbish!" snapped Bill. "I happen to know them by heart."

Bob rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Do you now? Well, Bill, I have a hundred dollars that says you can't even tell me the first few words." .............................

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After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Although the insurance company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.

When he was wheeled into the insurance company office to collect his check, Miller was confronted by several executives.................

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An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty
of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is.

"These, senor," replied the waiter in broken English, "are the arms of the
bull killed in the ring today." ....................

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An Illinois man who left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in
Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the
next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.


Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail
address, he did his best to type it in from memory. .....................

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A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. ........................

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." .......................

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